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  jayibold

cooking noxious weeds

3/24/2012

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as a kid growing up on the east coast you had to look out for two things, dogs and poison ivy. for reasons i can only speculate, dogs on the east coast tend to bite. i was bitten countless times for no apparent reason, no instigation, usually on the ass as i was fleeing the canine. "does your dog bight?" was the standard greeting when encountering a dog owner. bicycle rides really got interesting when a dog chase ensued. because you could quite possibly get the dog bite/road rash combo. i believe this is one reason my brother got quite good at local bike racing.
most adults are pretty good at recognizing (and avoiding) poison ivy, maybe some kids too. but kids are easily distracted. like when i was exploring a bushy niche and happened upon a wasp nest, got stung maybe twenty times, ran, tripped and fell into a thriving pocket of poison ivy. nice.
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maybe history exaggerates but i remember the resulting poison ivy burns quite vividly, kind of like infected 2nd degree burns that take weeks to heal. one such healing period happened to coincide with a 'vacation' to the new jersey shore, back when medical waste would wash up on the beach. my poisin ivy wounds went berserk when exposed to some good old jersey impetigo. it was like leprosy.

east coast/west coast differences make great cocktail party jokes (if you live west of the rockies). i've lived out west for over 25 years and my worst dog encounter resulted in a stinky hand. we don't have poison ivy in the great northwest, we have stinging nettles. if you happen to touch them it is quite unpleasant, sort of like brushing up against a electric fence and staying there. but the pain is short lived and there are no resulting wounds. "bad nettle! you stung me so now i'm throwing you in the wok."  nettles are quite delicious once cooked. you prepare them like just about any braising green, add to soups/stews/stir fry's. just cook until wilted and then some more. try preparing/consuming poison ivy in this manner? suicide.

*if you're not already accomplished at harvesting nettles i recommend picking the succulent tops and leaving the older lower growth. the michael jackson one glove approach works well for me. scissors in the other hand.
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